My "Sober" Friday Night

Goldfinger here, checkin in after an entertaining Friday night. So, going into Friday night I told myself "I'm not going to drink tonight." Normally these are blasphemous words that you will never hear coming out of my mouth.  However, given the fact that the NFL playoffs are on all day today (which means a day full of drinking) I thought I would take it easy one night; so here is the story of my sober night...

6:15 pm: Getting ready to watch Lawrence play basketball, I decide 40 hours without a shower is too much and I hop in.

6:17 pm: While in the shower, one of my lovely roommates gives me a 16oz Bud Light can with the lid covered in liquor. (FYI Bud Light and Rumplemints mixed tastes horrible)

6:30 pm: The words "And here we go..." are uttered for the first of many times on the night, I crack open another beer.

6:30 - 8 pm: The realization I may singlehandedly keep Bud Light in business.

8-10 pm: My back gets sore from carrying my beer pong team on it; actually I never made more than two cups, but its cool cause I looked good doing it (like Michael Jordan striking out in Space Jam).

Midnight: After taking a break to be a good person, I realize the people around me are more drunk than I am, I (sadly) take two shots alone and head out to the frats.

???: I drink, dance and get raped at Fifa for the rest of the night.

The results of my sober night: 108oz beer, 6 shots.

On another note, there is a big dance at my school coming up in 1 week, and, because Emma Watson is still playing hard to get (I see right though your games Emma!), I am still dateless.  So I have decided to lower my standards a little bit with the hopes of not flying solo.  So, I know you have probably been awaiting this invitation of a long time...Scarlett Johansson, will you be my date to the formal? 

So, my random thought, and the moral of this post is: sometimes the nights that are not planned are the most fun.

And here is your Youtube Video, hopefully it brings all of us some good luck tonight and in the future:

Sincerely Yours, 

              Goldfinger (Everything I touch turns to desire)